


if our time came back around, I promise I would never let you down

by madseba



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: ANYHOW, Hang the DJ (AU), Here we go!, Multi, it's chock full of vitamins and your daily serving of pain and suffering!, its a very.....loose AU, like it still all follows canon BUT with a hang the DJ twist!, so this is a hang the dj au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 13:58:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13412766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madseba/pseuds/madseba
Summary: So, basically, this came from the black mirror episode, hang the dj. It's a soulmate AU, with, hopefully, a twist! Jake and Amy match on a dating system, awkwardness ensues, maybe they fall in love, maybe I'm an angst demon, yada yada yada, happily ever after. I will eventually write a real description.So, let me know what you think! If you have any questions, I can also be found @jokeperatla on tumblr, and am always willing to answer questions!





	if our time came back around, I promise I would never let you down

Jake tapped his foot so quickly against the precinct floor Amy was sure she could feel her teeth chattering. His last match expired two weeks ago and he still hadn't found another one that sparked enough of his interest to follow through. Kelly was his last serious relationship. Their relationship had an expiry of six months, which Jake figured was the perfect span of time to get comfortable with someone, but not long enough to actually have to  _commit_ to anything, just his style. He started to worry again that all of his matches would be like Kelly: short, serial relationships that never completely satisfied, but quenched enough to keep him busy. Surprisingly, he could be a real man of depth, and his last several matches had been short-term and shallow, and none of them clicked. As much as he hated to admit it, he ached for something real. He disgusted himself with his desire for a serious, monogamous relationship. Hell, police academy Jake would probably beat his ass if he could hear his thoughts right now. 

"Jake!" she snapped her fingers, drawing Jake back to reality.

"Mmm, yeah, sorry, what?" He ran his hands in circles over his face a few times, massaging the worry lines forming in his forehead.

"You're making that face you make when something is clearly bothering you but you won't tell anyone because you're too proud to admit that you need my help," she folded her arms smugly over her chest.

"Oh, very funny, Santiago," he blushed, "I don't need anyone's help, I'm just...overthinking. About a case--case-y things. Strictly work." He cleared his throat.

"Case-y things. Nice cover," she raised her eyebrows and smirked, then softened, "Jake, seriously, I've known you forever, and I can tell when something is eating at you. What's the matter?"

Something in his stomach fluttered. 

"Ames, seriously, it's not a big deal, I just....haven't had a match in two weeks, and--"

"What? I thought you were matched with that super cool, elusive girl who you thought was a spy. What happened to her?"

He knew exactly what happened-- he and Amy had gotten caught up in a case and spent a weekend working together and solving a tough case, and by the time he thought about spy girl again, she had matched with someone else. He swallowed hard and grimaced, "Uh, she ended up being a bust. Just...super sketchy and actually the manager at a Walmart and just....really secretive because she was raised by overprotective parents in Indiana, so...not a spy."

"Hey," her eyes glimmered with mystery, "you never know, maybe she just gave you her elaborate and super boring cover story to throw you off her tail!" 

He genuinely laughed. He had spent a lot of his time wondering why Amy spent so much time being uptight. She was hilarious, and one of his favorite people to be around, easily, and they vibed well when she was calm.

"Maybe," he nodded, "anyway, I should get going. I have three-month-old chinese leftovers calling my name from the deep recesses of my fridge, so,"

"Oh my god, please don't eat that!" she called after him. He waved his keys over head before turning around to make finger guns at her.

"Title of your sex tape!" 

"Yep," she muttered under her breath, "walked right into that one."

"Title of the sequel!"

Her shoulders slumped and she rested her head in her hands, mostly so nobody could see her smile and shake her head at her partner. Rosa dropped a thick stack of files on her desk, making her jump.

"Done flirting?" Rosa cocked an eyebrow, opening the first case file to the third page.

"What? Flirting? That wasn't--that was just-that was just Jake being Jake!" Amy scrambled, lingering too long on the fact that Jake may have been flirting with her. 

"Yeah, sure," Rosa continued, combing through the details of the file in front of her.  

\----- 

Jake finished his third beer in two swigs. He had reached the point in the evening's alcohol escapades where he damns himself to a partnerless, loveless void of an existence, and he tries to ignore the tears stinging his eyes, his favorite. His phone buzzed and he nearly dropped it fumbling to grab it from the bar next to him.

 

**1 new match. Swipe to reveal.**

He swallowed hard.  _This is it,_ he thought,  _the universe is finally listening to my thoughts! Or, oh my god, that girl_ was  _a spy and now she's in my phone controlling my dating preferences? Oh my god that's so creepy. Or is it cool? Sexy? No. Okay. Just swipe._

"Oh my god," he nearly choked.

**New match found: Amy Santiago. Swipe right to accept, or left to decline. The user will not be notified of your decision unless you choose to accept. Once your decision is made, it cannot be undone. You will commence a relationship with this match until the predetermined expiration date.**

Clearly, it had to be a mistake. He had never even thought about Amy like that, okay, maybe, like, twice or three times  _max_ , but the system can't have known about that.   
  


"Hey, coach," three dots appeared on his screen before a robotic woman's voice replied, "yes, Jake?"

"How-how are matches determined? I know you can use like...responses to prior relationships but, do you guys like...monitor my thoughts?"

"The system cannot monitor your thoughts, but can monitor spikes in your heart rate, and recent interests," Coach explained, "anything else, Jake?" 

"Um, no, coach, that was helpful, thanks."

"I aim to please."

Jake puffed out his cheeks as he blew all the air out of his lungs and ran his fingers through his hair. 

"Uh, coach, sorry, one more question."

"Go ahead."

"How accurate are the system's matches?"

"As accurate as possible. Our algorithm matches someone with a compatible partner 99.8% of the time. Would you like for me to flag your emergency contact, Charles Boyle? Your heart rate has increased exponentially in the last few moments."

He cleared his throat, "Er, no, that won't be necessary, coach, thank you."

"You're welcome."

He pressed on his eyelids, urging his pounding headache to ease itself. He stared at Amy's picture on his screen. It was a candid photo of her from the night of the captain's birthday party that Charles had taken. She  _did_ look beautiful that night, Jake remembered. He chewed on his bottom lip.  _We're colleagues,_ Jake thought.  _Plus,_ his eyes widened,  _she'd never be into me._

He called for the bartender.

"What can I get you, man?"

"Another beer. Actually, make it whiskey. Straight."

"Coming right up," the bartender tossed a clean glass behind his back, caught it, and set it on the bar in front of him, "why the change?"

"Would you go out with this girl if you matched with her?" Jake drunkenly shoved his phone in the bartender's face, making him squint a little.

"Hell yeah, man. She's super hot. Why the hesitation? What's her name? I wanna see if I can try to match with tha--"

"Nevermind, thanks for the drink," something hot bubbled in his chest, and Jake emptied his drink in one swallow, slamming the glass on the counter so hard in rocked and spun. 

"Damn, sorry dude," he raised his hands to shoulder level, "and you should definitely go out with that girl, I think you've got a thing for her!" The bartender's voice increased in volume and pitch as Jake made his way to the door.

Jake reached across his screen to lock his phone, and in the process, swiped. Suddenly, he forgot his rights and lefts.

"Shit, shitshitshitshitshit, which way was that? What did I do?" He stumbled against a brick wall.

**Match accepted. Notifying Amy Santiago.**

Jake closed his eyes as his stomach dropped. Coach's voice stopped his head from spinning, "Jake, are you sure you don't want me to alert Charles Boyle of your location? Your vitals are not optimal.

"No, coach, please do not notify Charles. He is the last person I need right now," Jake growled through gritted teeth.

"Okay. I would recommend getting some rest."

"Thanks, coach, I'll get right on that."

He took a deep breath, wringing his hands. He debated texting Amy, telling her he meant to swipe left, and that none of this should have ever happened, but before he could make any concrete decisions, or even think a clear thought, his phone buzzed.

**Message from: Amy Santiago.**

_**"Didn't want to be your rebound, Jake. But I always knew you were in love with me, secretly ;). Or, WAIT. Did spy girl put you up to this? Are you handcuffed to a chair in her apartment and this is the only way you could get me to pay attention to**   **your pleas?"**_

He smiled, shaking his head. He tried to craft an expert reply,

_**"First of all, I'm honored to know you think of me handcuffed to things in your spare time, I didn't know you were so kinky! Second of all, you would pay attention to my pleas no matter what, because** _ _you're **the one whose always been secretly in love with me! Ha. Go ahead. I'm an amazing detective/genius. You can tell me. It will never wear off."**_

His palms were so sweaty he could hardly hold onto his phone as he awaited her reply.  _So maybe it won't be weird! Maybe it'll just be us talking back and forth, like colleagues,_ normal _colleagues, and we will never have to go on a date!_

 ** _"Oh, very funny. Ha ha. I'm laughing. Really, I am. See?"_** Attached was a picture of her, clearly in pajamas, face illuminated by the television in her apartment, looking as unamused as she possibly could. He let out a loud, belly laugh. 

_**"You're cute. I like the mismatched pjs, Ames. Goes really well with whatever you're watching, by yourself, on a Friday night. Jeopardy, probably? Am I right? Tell me I'm right."** _

She rolled her eyes and chuckled, wiping the palms of her hands on her NYPD shirt,

**_"No...Jeopardy comes on in thirty minutes. This is Wheel of Fortune. And pjs don't have to match, Jake. Yours probably don't."_ **

_**"My skin matche** **s** perfectly _ _**with the rest of my skin, thank you.** _ **_;)"_ **

**_"Oh, gross. What are you doing, anyway? Didn't you have plans tonight with some disgustingly expired Chinese food?"_ **

He smirked. 

_**"I ended up at Shaw's."** _

_**"So this was a drunk match, then?"**_ Her heart actually sank a little, and she shifted uncomfortably at her own disappointment. 

He chewed on his bottom lip. Of course, he  _was_ drunk when he matched with her, and it  _was_ an accident, but his own curiosity had gotten the best of him. Flirting with her  _was,_ admittedly, kind of fun. Their expiration was probably short anyway, and maybe they can just hang out, as  _friends_ , for the entire duration and then it won't ever be weird at work. 

_**"Well, I'd be lying to you if I told you that I'm not at all inebriated, but I think it probably happened for a reason. Don't you?"** _

Amy perched on the edge of her sofa, trying to formulate a response that was witty, and one that didn't make her seem desperate. Jake hadn't had a date in weeks, but Amy hadn't dated anyone seriously since last year, after the end of a three-year relationship. Sure, she'd  _been_ with people. She even had a weekend-long fling with a guy a few weeks ago. She worried that this thing with Jake would be weird, and she knew that it would  _definitely_ make work weird for the foreseeable future. Worse yet, the thing with Jake could be her next serious relationship, and he would eventually tire of her, and they wouldn't speak by the end, and Jake would transfer precincts, and she'd lose her partner and one of her best friends. Her text tone interrupted her spiraling.

_**"Ames? Sorry, maybe that was lame. I'm still pretty buzzed."** _

_**"No, Jake, it wasn't lame. Um, why don't you just...come over, and we'll check our expiration, and I'll make you some food that isn't old, or alcohol, and we can just...let the time run out on its own and act like nothing happened."** _

_**"Smort. Also, I'm not in any position to drive, I'll hop in a cab and be there in fifteen."** _

Part of him, a part that he was desperately trying to ignore, was hurt by the fact that she just wanted to get him over with and out of her system. Part of her ached at the idea that the only time he agreed that she was worth dating was when he was drunk. 

"Taxi!" He called, throwing out an arm.

\----

He stood outside her door for exactly 45 seconds, unsure of how to knock, or what to do. He smelled his shirt. It only mildly smelled of fired food and drunkenness, so, over all, not terrible. He shakily knocked two times. 

"Come in!" Her vice sounded far away, which was because, he discovered, she was in the kitchen, stirring something on the stove, dark hair falling loosely in tendrils around her face. Her NYPD shirt hung closely to her, and her Harry Potter themed pajama pants were folded over twice at the waistband. He recognized them from when she was sick a few years ago, and gained a little weight from the steroids she had to take. He bought them for her as a get well gift, which she admitted was thoughtful, especially considering he had never read-- or seen Harry Potter.

"Whatcha makin?" He rocked back and forth on his heels.

"Macaroni and cheese," she replied, sheepish, "it's all I had on hand that you would eat. But I  _am_ making broccoli, and you  _will_ eat some of it." She wagged the wooden spoon tauntingly at him. 

"Augh, gross. Okay, mom. But I'm not gonna be happy about it." 

She laughed as she stared at her feet, hoping he somehow couldn't see her. 

"So, should we see how long we have?" Jake asked, gesturing toward his phone, and their ticking expiration.

"Yes. Definitely," she exhaled as she unlocked her phone, pulse quickening.

"Wait, Santiago, you have to promise me something," he sounded serious, which came as a surprise to her.

She tucked her hair behind her ears, "yeah, sure."

"Whatever our expiration is, you're not allowed to fall in love with me."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> huge, huge thank you to em @elsaclack, and erica @startofamoment for all they did in helping me plan this, it would have been nothing but a brainchild without you! you're both glimmering stars of human beings and i love you with my whole heart
> 
> also huge thank you to the random, sweet tumblr anon who gave me the title for this fic from a song rec, bridge back to your heart- the beach


End file.
